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Amusing Stories

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A CAT'S TALE [30 Nov 2005|10:18pm]

11_miles_down
[ mood | thirsty ]

oh man, I swear to god someone once told me that cats were really intelligent. Whoever said that must be fucking lying because there is seriously the stupidest cat living around here somewhere. For awhile some cat/s have been coming into the house and pissing and eating Squiggles' food. We've been trying to make them stop coming in here and pissing on the walls and the floor cos its gross. But the real tale began last night...
caught red handed!Collapse )

8 |.x.good times.x.

[03 Apr 2005|12:20am]

mattisbored
okay...so this one time, at band camp...i was searching around asking how I could join this community...and i met this wonderful man...

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

and when i said "hello bush"...i laughed because i'd made a pun
4 |.x.good times.x.

[14 Mar 2005|04:05pm]

disreprivalize
One windy winter evening I was driving around pretty fast in a rush to get home. It was kind of hard to see what with all the sand the wind was kicking up. Suddenly, I hear a loud thump and the car shakes noticeably. I hit something and it wasn't that small. Paralyzed with fear I just drove home as fast as I could. The next day I found out a couple of people died in the windstorm in automobile related accidents but I didn't look into it any further because of my fear of what I might find. I went and washed off the blood off of my car. I thought maybe I hit an animal but it's unlikely as I was in a residential area.
2 |.x.good times.x.

fun with football [22 Dec 2004|11:11pm]

conan_dancer
so i'm at a football game ozark arkansas with this guy that i really liked. i don't really like football so i was just kind of looking around and i spy this little kid on the sideline taking pictures. i couldn't see his face cause he had his hood up.

when all of a sudden some football players come running out of bounds and tackle the little kid.

the whole crowd gasps, except me, i bust out laughing as loud as i can.

as it turns out, it wasn't a little kid at all, but a little old lady.

i'm such an asshole. and the guy i liked didn't like me after that cause i laughed at old people.
5 |.x.good times.x.

George & Danielle's toilet adventures... [16 Nov 2004|01:39pm]

danlikes______
[ mood | amused ]

This is based on a true story, real names were not used to hide the identities of the people involved.


PG: Parental Guidance Suggested. This Story Contains Sexual Themes That May Not Be Suitable For Children.Collapse )

19 |.x.good times.x.

mowing the lawn! [14 Nov 2004|04:01pm]

11_miles_down
[ mood | productive ]


The lawn was very long at Dan's house so we decided to mow it cause we could hardly see the house.


We got out the mower and filled it up with petrol but we couldn't get the grass catcher on the back of the mower.


Bill and Angela from next door came over and tried to do it but they couldn't work it out either. They are from Ireland and talk like leprechauns.


Once I was on my own I figured it out all by myself, because we had to take the mulcher off the back to get it on there.


Then Dan could mow the lawn and now everyone can see his orange house again!

The End.
6 |.x.good times.x.

Ruff the dog [09 Nov 2004|03:35pm]

11_miles_down

Once there lived a dog named Ruff. He was a happy dog.


One day a bumble bee stung Ruff on the tail. He needed an operation.


Ruff made a sign and hoped that people would give him money.


Soon Ruff had lots of coins and could afford the operation on his tail.


So off Ruff went to the vet, and the vet made his sore tail go away. The End.
9 |.x.good times.x.

Man meets couch... [27 Oct 2004|02:25pm]

misspiggy14

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hahaha the end!!!

1 |.x.good times.x.

..dear knight.. you should have slept in.. [23 Oct 2004|11:57pm]

myignorance
[ mood | dorky ]

A picture story, because I'm not the greatest writer in the world. >.>

5 |.x.good times.x.

[07 Oct 2004|09:17pm]

misspiggy14
[ mood | sick ]

hi mi newwwwwwww and this is my story!!


 One day two kids were walking down the road, robert and chad. all of a sudden a bird came down and pooped in chads mouth because he was singnig, so robert laughed his head off and todd the bird was  jealous because  mitch got to drop one so while robert was laughing todd...


 


the bird pooped on his head!!


 


~the end~


 

6 |.x.good times.x.

It's quacktastic! [02 Sep 2004|10:18pm]

xsillylillyx
Once upon a time there was a lady named Paula Duck Lady Quakers II



One day she was peacefully enjoying her lunch, when a hungry rebel duck came along.



This hungry rebel duck moved in on Paula Duck Lady Quakers II's lunch. The duck lady became infuriated.



The rebel duck took notice of that, and so he attacked her.



The end!
10 |.x.good times.x.

[27 Jul 2004|10:19pm]

danlikes______
[ mood | amused ]

ok so here's a story i wrote for lilleh on myspace, so i drew a few dumb pics for it and yeah...

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a beautiful princess called Lilly.

She lived in a magnificent castle

that was ruled by an evil king called Gary.

Now the beautiful princess Lilly did not know her father was an evil prick as he had made her live quite a sheltered life, hell she'd rarely even been out of the castle, which is where most of Gary's evil deeds took place! Anyway in the township just out of the castle lived a blacksmith called Dan.

He wasnt just a blacksmith though, as good as he was at making metal-type-shit he was even better at making jokes. So he was also the kings jester. But because he was so good looking, he was also a model. And being he was so wise, he was also the towns math teacher. Anyway king Gary knew of all of Dan's talents and he was intimidated by them. As powerful as Gary was he had nothing over Dan!! So one day Gary was making a despicable plan to capture and destory Dan, with his head-knights, and Lilly overheard the whole thing and was shocked. So later on that day Dan was teaching Lilly some good old fashioned Math and Lilly decided to tell Dan what her father was planning. Dan being the good person that he is, wanted to avoid any confrontation, so he ran away with Lilly and they got married and had 13 children.

The end!



someone should write storiessss!

19 |.x.good times.x.

[22 Feb 2004|02:37pm]

xsillylillyx
So on Wednesday I went to the AFI and Coheed and Cambria show. The show was cool and I had some good laughs. One good laugh I had was when Coheed and Cambria were up on stage. (If you don't know, Claudio is the led singer. He looks like this )Ok so Claudio was up on stage dancing around crazily. His fro was flopping around moving in all sorts of directions (that alone amused me...heh fros are funny...dancing ones are even funnier) and all of the sudden he loses his balance and falls flat on his ass.
It looked something like this...


He got up not too long after being on the floor and finished the song. I think he was embarassed, 'cause then he admitted to the audience that that was the first time he has ever busted his ass on the stage while playing...people laughed...but I rolled. He might of blushed, but I couldn't tell since his hair was all up in his face. Lets just say he was embarassed and his hair blushed...like this...


The end.
4 |.x.good times.x.

[29 Jan 2004|07:16pm]

eskimopunk

Ok, this is my first story and it kinda sucks ass, but I thought it was kinda funny.

We were at Borders, and there was a lady there at the cafe, reading a magazine. She had her sunglasses on the top of her hair, and she has a tiny kind of afro.

My friend is an idiot, and thought it was her actual face and freaked out.

I thought it was the funniest thing ever and laughed so hard I cried and drooled. By accident.

The end!

P.S. Thanks to Lilly for lending me her Photobucket account. <3
12 |.x.good times.x.

hi i'm michele *waves* [26 Jan 2004|03:00am]

you_make_me_red
so i was cooking dinner at midnight tonight. and i was peeling potatos to make mash potatos.



and you know how you gotta turn the potato around to peel the other side where your hand is, well i did that.



and it slipped out of my hand into the garbage.



and as i was getting it out, i said outloud...



and i thought...



teh end.
6 |.x.good times.x.

Rocio helped with the story... [28 Jan 2008|10:09pm]

xsillylillyx
Alright so it was the Spring of last quarter. Rocio and I had a Biology class together, and for the last day of class we had to go to a "field trip". The field trip ended up being on campus. On this field trip we were shown around an outdoor rehabilitation center for animals. Our guide was a lady.

We all had to sit on logs. The logs were very unstable. They wobbled around a lot. At one point in our field trip, our tour guide brought out an owl. We were all eager to learn about the owl.



The tour guide told us not to make any loud noises or quick reactions, or else we'd startle the bird.

The owl started to flap it's wings. The lady in the front row started to panic. She started to back up on the log trying to back away from the owl...even though the girl was still holding onto it and firmly. She eventually started to back up too much, the log she was sitting on started to tip over. She yelled "Ahhh Ahhh AHHHHH!" She almost fell off.



Rocio and I at first tried not to laugh, but a guy next to us started to bust out laughing. Then Rocio laughed, then I laughed, and we couldn't stop laughing,



The owl saw us all laughing and thought we were laughing at it so it mauled the scared lady in front of it.



*dies laughing* Ok ok the last bit didn't really happen, it's something Rob made up. I personally love the 'new' ending. Do YOU? *points*

The end.
4 |.x.good times.x.

I tried. [16 Jan 2004|11:17pm]

littlero2
OK. This is the first time I've tried to draw a story. It doesn't look very creative, and it's not all that great, but here you go. One time Robin, Angie, Al, and me were all sitting at a table by the coffee place. At the table to the side of us, this witch was trying to study (this was during finals time). Robin was telling us stories, but of course, she was using foul language. PS-It looks like Al doesn't have legs, but he does.



The witch was offended and I can't remember exactly what she told Robin. Robin didn't even realize that she was talking to her to begin with. The witch shut her dooooooowwwwwwwwn and Robin was speechless.



Robin was shocked. This turned into blushing...and this led to anger (I didn't mean for her to look like the Kool-Aid man). The rest of us were shocked at first, but then we tried so hard not to roll at what was happening.



Robin was so mad that her head exploded and guts went everywhere. The witch left the table by flying away on her roller bag/broom.



OK, so that last part didn't happen, but it was funny to Angie on the way to school today when I made it up.

Teh end!

Sorry they're small and you can't tell what some words say. =\
3 |.x.good times.x.

One day... [15 Jan 2004|06:54pm]

xsillylillyx
[ mood | amused ]

while at school, I was standing by a sidewalk waiting for my bus to arrive. A girl was walking by and she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking and then she went *FALL!* She tripped over the crub and landed soooooooooooo hard onto the sidewalk. She plunged to her dome.



Her bag flew over her head. Her shirt went flying up and as she was falling she screamed out "OH SHIT!"


I died with laughter. X.X

The end.

3 |.x.good times.x.

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